The first assignment of the new year for this Spoon was to write out a few scenes/kinks that I would enjoy exploring in the coming months. I’ve had this assignment for over a week and while Master does expect it sometime within the next
few days, I’m well within my deadline…my issue is that I’m having a hard time choosing just a “couple” of scenes/kinks…I have lots, more than lots of ideas that I want to explore; worse than having nothing to write about, having too much. I’ve done more thinking
than I care to comment on about this assignment, as is evident, I’ve finally just gotten to the point that if I don’t write something I’m going to drive myself absolutely mad with potential need, so without any more fluff, let’s get down to this.
I have been looking at my submission from as much of a third-party perspective as I can and I’ve put myself under a bit of a microscope and what I have found is that I need to strip down, go back to absolute basics and rebuild. Somewhere
in all of Our living, my submission, once a very taunt, fit and extremely nubile thing, has become lazy, lethargic and apathetic. In short, I am not pleased with myself and how I have been acting, but also, I have missed how my Master used to handle my attitude,
how He would use Our lifestyle to help shape me and support me, how close We had become. I want to embark on more Behavior Training, on taking Our old contract and amending it to Our current living situation. Our contract was originally written before a lot
of life changing events occurred and looking at it now, there is very little of Our Dynamic that We still practice. I want to change that, bring Us back to where Our Dynamic is in every part of what we do, even if it isn’t outwardly seen or known. I believe
that because We had been living in such a toxic atmosphere with such negative people surrounding Us that Our dynamic suffered and now that We have actively cut the “bad fruit” from the tree, taken stake of our numbers and accepted the losses, now we can grow
again in our beautiful relationship.
I suppose that isn’t exactly what this assignment is about…it is and it isn’t. By revamping our contract and updating it We are exploring more but Master did ask what scenes/kinks I would be interested in, not particularly that I want to
hit the refresh button. I’m sure that He will smile when He sees this little thought hiccup, hesitation of an over-processing mind; and will read on hoping that I did get around to actually writing the assignment He asked for…(should probably get to that…*ahem*)
I want to read through the Kama Sutra with my Master and have in depth discussions/assignments about what We read, how to apply its incredibly in-depth wisdom into our lives/dynamic. I want to try all the poses that We can physically do
and see if they’re really pleasurable/practical. The book is actually quite large and has an amazingly large portion that isn’t erotic, but more like a lovers’ manual on how to pursue and in turn, be pursued. A scene? …I’m pretty sure that We could turn some
of what We’ve learned into a scene, it is “the world’s oldest and most widely read guide to the pleasures and techniques of sex” after all (says so right on the back cover). I would love it if Master assigned me to write my own responses to what we read too;
our very own private book club of two.
I want to take belly/pole dancing classes. I love to dance anyway and these two forms, one I have done (belly) and absolutely adored the feeling of empowerment and sexiness it gave me, and the other I have always been fascinated by the
artistry, the complexity and the sheer athleticism that it takes to be on the pole. I believe that I could really enjoy myself and I know that Master would reap the benefits of nightly dances if He Requested. It would be a chance to be sexy, to be sensual,
to be powerful in my own feminine skin, all things that I know my Master wants for me.
I want to take a Tai-Chi class with my Master. He has extensive martial arts training and sure, I took a self-defense class when I was a kid; I very clearly don’t have anywhere near the technique He does. I want to learn, I want to start
slow though and I think if We take this technique that is a slow, almost dance like form of martial arts, maybe I won’t feel so clumsy when We move up to more advance classes in forms like tai-kwan-do, jujitsu, Kung-fu etc.
I also want Us to take ballroom dance classes as that I believe it strengthen our connection on Leading and Following. In the dance world, Leading and Following are huge roles that must be adhered to strictly or the dancers can hurt themselves
or worse their partner; what an amazing metaphor for Our dynamic! Master and I are both beginners so I believe that as long as we start slow, maybe take some group classes or private lessons (if we get the opportunity) that We’ll grow so close and learn so
much that we can apply to Our 24/7 Lifestyle.
…Okay so belly/pole dancing, taking martial arts classes and ballroom dance lessons aren’t scenes or kinks but I keep trying to find new scenes to dive into and honestly, I want more of what We had. I want more spankings, want to be tied
to my homemade bench more, beat so beautifully pink with all of Our devilishly fun floggers/whips/paddles, crying in perfect pleasure, asking for another, just one more please. I want more of His Orgasm Control, of His edging; getting me there, just to the
point then denying my release, stopping His activities before starting again, torturing me with pleasure until I’m pleading, begging for the moment…then sobbing thank you when He finally allows the moment to wash over Us both. I want His eyes on me while He’s
tying me up in knots, arranging my limbs as the ropes tighten in the most beautiful patterns. I want His direction as He takes pictures of His art work, or better still, to be perfectly still as He sketches me into art. One of my favorite scenes that We ever
experienced was when He tied me to our bed, blindfolded me and then sketched me for about an hour. It was such a powerful experience to be helpless, to be blind but know that He was watching me and that He needed me to be still so that I could help Him bring
His art to life…I want more of that. More of the slow, powerful love making sessions where He gagged me to keep me quiet, but did nothing but provoke my screams and moans. More of the ravenous fucking that leaves the neighbors whispering behind closed doors
because there is no amount of gagging that will muffle Us then….so much more of that. Being curled up in His arms afterwards, sipping on the water He offers, snuggling into the safest place on this planet for me, His arms…I need more of that.
I’m beginning to feel that slowing pull, that feel that tells me I’m getting close to the end of my writing “muse” appointment so I do hope that this is what my Master wanted. I hope that it inspires Him and his spoon to be more, to strip
down the old and revamp the new; explore new worlds all the while fine tuning the incredible thing that we do have. I feel hopeful, so it must already be working. I deeply look forward to what We come up with, the new steps we’ll write into the familiar tango
that we are continuously spinning in; eternally one step closer.